Nowadays everything in life is about success, about having a successful career, living a successful life, doing your best, getting the best, and ultimately, giving your best. Now, when it comes to matters of the heart, the subject is ever more so sensitive. In the forever changing world of dating, how can you decide which way to go, to avoid heartbreak and disappointments? Here are my 5 tips to avoid just that.
1.Get Your Ducks in the Row
Make sure that you’re ready to enter the battle field, especially if you haven’t dated in a while. When we’ve just recently broken up, often times the first thing we do is to dive head first into dating, hoping that a new squeeze will help us forget the pain. Sometimes we’re lucky and end up on a rebound, where we take more than we give and most likely we end up hurting someone else. But more often than not we end up making many many attempts to secure dates with many many people, attempts that typically lead nowhere. Why? Because our needy vibe is a red flag to people. Give yourself time to heal, be that 3 months, 6 months or more. Love yourself first.
2. Do Your Research
Once you’re ready, make sure you know which dating site is right for you. Whilst friends and acquaintances can recommend some, based on their experience, you’re better off reading up on all that’s important. Consumer review sites like ConsumersAdvocate.org are very helpful in this respect. Here I have a chat with Giancarlos Merced about the best dating sites and their specifics:
a. GIANCARLOS, WHAT WAS THE CHOSEN CRITERIA THAT YOU BASED YOUR SELECTION ON?
Before we began our research, we decided on three factors that would help us determine what were the best sites for online dating: Match-making software, Features, and Memberships. For Match-making software, we looked beyond personality tests and instead studied their site algorithms that would quantify the sustainability of certain pairings based on comprehensive questionnaires. For features, we took into consideration sites that had fun experiences like virtual games and real-life meet-ups. Having a mobile version was also an important element along with premium options to enhance profiles and increase the chances of improved matchmaking. Finally, even though a lot of these sites had membership options, we gave more weight to sites that lowered your monthly fee the longer you used their service; i.e. one month subscription would set users back $40 per month but three month subscriptions would start at $25 per month.
b. HOW MANY PEOPLE WORKED ON THIS COMPLEX RESEARCH, AND HOW LONG DID IT TAKE?
There were a total of five staff members assigned to this complex research. The team was composed of editors, and writers that had a keen interest in finding out the complexities of how online dating sites actually worked. We used more than twenty sources, vetted eleven companies, which took a total of more than two hundred hours of research to complete.
c. HOW DO YOU KEEP YOUR RESEARCH UP TO DATE WHAT WITH THE EVER CHANGING INDUSTRY?
To keep our research with the most up to date information in the industry, our team assigns members to revisit our selected websites and verify if anything about their features or language had changed. We do this on a constant basis, or even seasonally, too. We also look up main keywords associated with our selected sites to check for relevant trending topics that our readers might find interesting to know about.
Giancarlos and his team from ConsumerAdvocate.org are doing a wonderful job so that we’re not left to our own devices in the confusing world of online dating, but have a clear picture of what’s available and what our options are.
3. Be as Honest as Possible in Your Profile
Lying about your age and using outdated photos is counterproductive but it happens all the time, with both men and women. Use a combination of great and less than great recent photos, to show the real you. Photos are always deceiving, whether they show you at your best or worst. A combination of both can make the general picture more real. Regarding your age, a tiny bit of fibbing is all right. For example, if you just turned 40 and you put yourself down as 39 and 1/2 in order to fall into a certain category, that’s more than acceptable.
4. Be Clear About Your Values
The first thing we encounter when we start exchanging messages with a potential date is the sporadic and often unreliable pattern of communication. This should be a red flag from the get go. If dating is not high on their priority list, or meeting and knowing you does not seem to be a priority and they often quote work and personal life issues ( parents visiting, sister being ill, etc.) as their excuse then you’re no more than an occasional pastime. Don’t play along. Life is short and there are plenty of fish in the sea.
5. Don’t Jump to Conclusions
It’s often the butterflies in the stomach that override any other feeling or clear judgement that can lead to our greatest disappointment. Keep in mind that a date is just a date, it’s not yet a relationship and it won’t be for a good while or maybe never. Don’t call your date your boyfriend or girlfriend straight away and don’t talk about wanting kids on the first date, even if you feel an undeniable connection. Give things time.
All in all, date on your own terms. Value yourself, value your time, your own being, be careful with early compromises and never forget to love and respect yourself first. Good luck.